The first secret is not to try to be anyone else.You are you and you can only be you. Many women have learned this already, but if you ever find yourself comparing yourself to others, this is a truth that can set you free. There is no freedom, joy, or satisfaction trying to compete with other women (or men.)
You can always find someone out there who is prettier, younger, richer or more talented. And so can I, but so what?! There’ll never be a better you.
After you accept this, you can start to really find out about you. If you can realize and accept this basic truth you can stop comparing and give up competing. Find out what’s great about you and start to enjoy being you.
It’s a myth many women fall for that “you can be anything you desire.” This is really not accurate and it has some women thinking they just aren’t trying hard enough. Others wind up in the SuperWoman or SuperMom syndrome, trying to be everything to everyone. Of course, there are many things a particular woman can be and do. Think of it as an individual range of possibilities that every human being has--some which are more likely for you than others. But not everyone could become a world class athlete, top scientist, or opera star. And not everyone should want to.
You’ve heard the saying, “Be the best you can be.” This can be a positive statement if you interpret it as meaning that “you can always improve and become a human being who expresses more virtues and worthwhile qualities.” But taken in the most literal sense, there is no ceiling on how good or “perfect” a person can become. So, no matter how great we become, can’t we always be greater? This can turn into a vicious circle. The more we strive, the more we find to aim for and we never get there.
So the second secret is don’t hold back from liking yourself until you’re perfect. The downside to “being the best you can be” is that it’s unattainable. Some realize this and give up. The goal is really to accept your humanity and continue living as the Best Essential You. In this course, you’ll be learning how to do this and begin a experiencing a deeper sense of satisfaction in your life and with yourself.
So, what are the steps to becoming the Best Essential You?
The Best Essential You is not the absolute best you that there could be. Essential means basic, fundamental. The Best Essential You is the best “you” that you basically and fundamentally already are.
While every woman’s journey to becoming her Best Essential Self is a unique journey, there are common elements that are shared. These can be seen as the steps to self-fulfillment and satisfaction.
The first step is discovering your true essence that leads you to your Best Essential Self. This involves the process of realizing and accepting both what you are not and what you are. This is enhanced by learning how to “get in touch” with your Inner Self.
Too many women get caught up in why --why they are the way they are. (Men don’t generally torture themselves as much with this type of internal dialog.) While this may be interesting to explore, it can often lead nowhere. Awareness may allow for change, but it does not guarantee it. Often, “why” becomes an excuse for “why my life isn’t the way I wanted it.” Some people use it as a cop-out, “My life is terrible because ----” It’s possible to have a very detailed analysis of “why I am the way I am” without a clue about how to be any other way. Basically, once we discover an area where we are blocked, we need the ability to accept it, let go of it, or move beyond it.
The second step is to remove any blocks or barriers that you have in the way of being the Best Essential You. Many times one of the most effective and simplest strategies is just to develop a different attitude toward barriers so that they don’t stop you. If you see your problems and negative qualities as your enemies, this gives them power and you have to either battle it out or give in to them. Neither is an option you probably want. Consider instead how you can change them from an adversary to an ally. How can this “negative” situation be used for something positive in your life? How has it helped you? How has this challenging situation taught you a valuable lesson? How has this internal “mechanism” protected you?
The third step is simply finding the best parts of you to bring out. It’s discovering the areas in which you want to develop and grow into the best you. It can be “finding diamonds in the rough”.
The last step is just being the Best Essential You. Sometimes it’s not as simple as it sounds. “Being” is actually harder than doing. So this is literally a stand you have to take. It has to be a fundamental choice and life position. It’s like believing, “I am a good person.” More on “being” and how to “be” coming soon. Funny that we all need to learn that, isn't it?
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